Wednesday, May 25, 2016


Junior year is over... Alleluia! I honestly am in shock, and I cannot believe that I survived this year. It ripped through my life like a tsunami, and I never thought I would see the day when my countdown to graduation was less than 365 days (at 353 now!!).

My faith, however, has grown stronger due to the adversities I have faced this year.

I have felt so alone in high school. Yes, I have an incredible, incredible family, but I have really missed out on the social aspect of high school. I could get into this deeper, but why rehash the negative.

Through reading, reflection, and a whole lot of prayer, I have come to realize that the "things" I am searching for others to give me, I am provided with through God. I have sought validation through others, through my peers, when God has long past validated all of my insecurities and successes.

I do not need others to believe in me, God believes in me! I do not need others to find me beautiful, God made me in His image! I do not need others to determine my worth, as I am priceless being to God. I do not need others to acknowledge my good decisions and choices, as God is patting me on the back. I do not need the love of others if I have the love of God.

God is always there, but the woman in me denies Him. No, I do not deny God, but I deny His love, comfort, and support. And by doing this, I am lessening my trust in Him. I, being a woman, try to solve and figure out everything on my own. I'm trying to live on my own, and that is simply not going to work. I almost broke down in my all school mass about 2 months ago. I was really going through a rough time, and I had never felt more alone than I did during the school day. The song "Lord, I Need You" began to be sung.

This was the first time in my life, that I truly let go and let God.

Lord, I Need You, Oh I Need You
Every Hour I Need You

I realized that the way I had been living was not going to work any longer. I realized that I was surrounding myself with people who made me feel less than adequate for having strong beliefs and values. I realized that I was settling for friendships to avoid feeling lonely, only to feel more alone. Throughout this mass, I realized that I needed to begin surrounding myself with people that challenged me to be better and respected my strong morals and standards for life. I was feeling inferior for making good decisions. I noticed that my friends, who I thought (and still believe) to be true, loyal friends, were causing anxiety, stress, and short temper in my life. It was in this moment that I realized that my strong grip on my faith was beginning to slip.

If I truly trusted in the Lord, and relished in the beautiful, unconditional love He has for me, then never again should I doubt my value or worth, never again should I question my purpose, never again should I feel inadequate or cry weak.

If I trust in God and have faith in His plan for my life, then never again will I feel inferior. Because never again will I search for validation in others, but solely marinate myself in God's unfailing acceptance of me!

I'll be back frequently and consistently with more posts, especially fashion-related.

Thanks for listening to my revelation! I hope you have an awesome summer!

Sarah Beth

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